Nurse accused of killing babies weeps and says she was ‘doing my best to care for them’

2023-05-02 22:05:38 Written by Alex

Lucy Letby, 33, broke down in tears as she gave evidence for the first time at her trial, where she is accused of murdering seven children and attempting to murder a further 10

At her trial in Manchester Crown Court, Lucy Letby, a nurse accused of killing seven babies and attempting to murder ten others, broke down in tears as she testified for the first time. 
She expressed feeling devastated by the accusations and found the allegations sickening. The alleged offenses took place while she was working as a nurse at the Countess of Chester Hospital between June 2015 and June 2016.

The identities of the children involved, as well as their parents or witnesses, are protected by a court order that prohibits their reporting.

During the trial, prosecutors alleged that Lucy Letby, the accused nurse, used multiple methods to harm the children in her care. These methods included deliberately injecting them with air and milk, administering insulin poisoning, and physical assault.

Court artist sketch by Elizabeth Cook of Lucy Letby giving evidence in the dock at Manchester Crown Court where she is charged with the murder of seven babies and the attempted murder of another ten, between June 2015 and June 2016 while working on the neonatal unit of the Countess of Chester Hospital.

Lucy Letby giving evidence in the dock at Manchester Crown Court where she is charged with the murder of seven babies and the attempted murder of another ten (Photo: Elizabeth Cook/PA)


On Tuesday morning, Ben Myers KC, the lawyer representing Lucy Letby, began the defense's case by calling the defendant to the witness box.

Lucy Letby, wearing a black dress and accompanied by two female security guards, repeatedly broke down in tears during her testimony as she was asked about the accusations against her. She stated that she likely cared for "hundreds" of children during the 12-month period when she is accused of harming infants.

When questioned by the jurors if she had ever harmed the children under her care, Letby replied, "No, I always did my best to take care of them."
 

“That’s completely against everything that being a nurse is about… I’m here to help and care for them, not to harm them.” 

 

Sitting in the witness box, Letby at times spoke quietly and Mr Myers asked her to speak more loudly so the jury could hear.

Letby said that in 2016 she was taken off clinical duties and she understood this was because she, and other staff on the neonatal unit, were having to undergo “competency” checks.

Asked how she felt about this, Letby said: “I was devastated… because I’ve always prided myself on being very competent and the fact that potentially I hadn’t been competent really affected me. To be taken away from the job that I loved.”

Letby told jurors it was a “life-changing” moment and that it dented her self-confidence adding: “It made me question everything about myself.”

Letby stated that she was not aware of the allegations of intentionally harming babies until September 2016 when she received a letter from the Royal College of Nursing. She further revealed that during that time, she was contemplating filing a grievance procedure regarding her redeployment from the unit.

 

Letby told jurors she found it “sickening” when she realized she was accused of deliberately harming babies adding: “I just couldn’t believe it.
“I don’t think you can be accused of anything worse than that… I was just devastated.”


During her testimony, Letby informed the jurors that she has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder due to the trauma she endured from being arrested three times by the police during the investigation. She added that she is currently taking anti-depressants and is unable to sleep without medication.

Undated handout photo issued by the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) of a note found in the house of Lucy Letby, the nurse accused of murdering seven babies and trying to kill 10 more wrote "I am evil I did this" in capital letters on a piece of paper found after a police search of her house, a court has heard. Issue date: Thursday October 13, 2022. PA Photo. Lucy Letby also wrote "I don???t deserve to live. I killed them on purpose because I???m not good enough to care for them. I am a horrible evil person," Manchester Crown Court was told. See PA story COURTS Letby. Photo credit should read: CPS/PA Wire NOTE TO EDITORS: This handout photo may only be used in for editorial reporting purposes for the contemporaneous illustration of events, things or the people in the image or facts mentioned in the caption. Reuse of the picture may require further permission from the copyright holder.

A note found in Lucy Letby’s house which has been shown to jurors during her murder trial (Photo: CPS/PA Wire)

“There were times when I didn’t want to live,” Letby said.

“I thought about killing myself… because of what was being inferred.

“My job was my life, it was everything.

“I can’t put it into words… my whole world just stopped.”

When asked if she is the same person she was at the age of 25 or 26 when the investigation started, Letby replied, "No, I think everything, my life, and the hopes I had for the future, have completely changed."

The court was informed that Letby has been in prison on remand since her third arrest by the police in November 2020.

Letby has been transferred between four different prisons, and due to her current location, she is required to wake up at 5:30 am and travel for an hour and a half each way to attend court.

During the trial, jurors were presented with Post-It notes covered in writing, which were discovered by the police in Letby's possession. Some of the notes were found loose in her handbag, while others were folded into her diaries. Letby described them as her way of processing her thoughts and emotions, which she wouldn't express to anyone else.

During the trial, Mr. Myers directed Letby's attention to several phrases on the Post-It notes, including "I AM EVIL" and "I did this." Letby explained to the jurors that she felt responsible and believed that she had been incompetent or made a mistake.

One of the phrases, which was later crossed out, read, "I don't know if I killed them, maybe I did. Maybe this is all down to me." Letby clarified that these words did not constitute a confession.

That’s how I was feeling at that time,” she told jurors.

In addition to the phrases discussed earlier, the Post-It notes found in Letby's possession also included "love is all we needed," which Letby explained was a line from a song by Craig David. Some of the notes simply read "Help me."


Letby commented that during the alleged offenses, she did not believe there were enough nurses working in the neonatal unit of the Countess of Chester Hospital. She stated that she was expected to work 13 shifts a month, but was frequently asked to work additional shifts at short notice.

Letby explained to the jurors, “I’ve been called at lunchtime and asked to work that night, sometimes it would be very short notice. Or sometimes they would just move shifts around.”

During the period from June 2015 to June 2016, Letby observed that "we seemed to have babies with a lot more complex needs than we had usually cared for in that unit." However, when asked if there were any changes in staffing levels, she replied, "No, there wasn’t."

Letby told the court that despite the impact of the babies' deaths on the staff at the neonatal unit, no one received any formal support or counseling from the NHS. When asked about her own emotions, she said that she was very upset and that such incidents stayed with her. 


She also mentioned that she had an active social life outside of work and used to attend salsa classes, go out with friends, meet up for lunch, go to the gym, and had been on several holidays with friends. Jurors were informed that Letby purchased her first home, a semi-detached house on Westbourne Road in Chester, in April 2016, at the same time as some of the alleged offenses were said to have taken place.

Letby’s fridge was photographed by the police, showing pictures of her with friends and colleagues, a hand-made card from her godson which read ‘Number One godmother,’ and a thank you card from a relative for some Christmas presents.

The court also heard that Letby’s diary contained entries about her daily life, including details about her two cats named Tigger and Smudge, attending a colleague’s Hen do party, and attending a concert by Ellie Goulding.

When asked if she intentionally harmed children as described in the charges against her, Letby responded to the jury, saying: “No, I never deliberately hurt them. My only intention was to care for them, to do my best for them, and to help them.”

The case, which has already run for six months, continues at Manchester Crown Court.